remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
As shirtless as possible
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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