Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
