i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
