I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
