idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This is the high leading the old right now
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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