he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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