So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
