i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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