It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
