I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
