just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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