I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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