K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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