i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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