just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
