I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
