I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
