i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
