Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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