i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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