u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
ttyl tear gas
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
