R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize