Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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