But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
