No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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