I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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