Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
