No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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