I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
