Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
