When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
After last night, I could never be a politician.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
