Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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