I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
