we're blogging at a bar
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize