i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
