Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
