Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
