I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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