haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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