I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
