Fine. I'll sleep in my office
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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