Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
