You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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