she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
