Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
