Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
