I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize