At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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