I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
