she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
