I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
