'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
