overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
